He may not be the guy wearing a tiara in the next LGBT parade in fact, he probably even isn’t seen on the sidelines watching. He may not socialize only with gay people. He has his interests, activities, home life, work life, and behavior as any other person does. I am complex, and not easily categorized.Īnd that’s my point of this particular blog post: the masculine gay man is not easy to categorize. I contribute to the well-being of my community through active involvement and giving my time to help others.
I work on several local and state political campaigns and even chaired a few in the past. I have a full-time job with a regular work week. I set a different example from what their previously limited exposure to gay people has been. I sense among straight guys who participate in activities in which I participate that they do not ask themselves, “could it be me next,” but rather seem to be questioning their own perceptions of what “being gay” means. This kind of personal/sexual revelation makes people uncomfortable because they are forced to ask, Who else? To admit that gay men can be manly men - and not some effeminate subspecies - makes all men ask themselves, ‘could it be me next?’ “ For him to come out of the closet is to take off a mask that no one knew was there. The blogger states further: “ The typically masculine gay man has no category. I like to participate with people who share common interests - not “just” being gay or “just” … well… anything. I do not self-isolate to participate in activities only with other gay people. I remain a member of my social group which consists primarily of straight people, because they compose the members of the committees, clubs, and activities in which I choose to engage. We all have a job to do, and that’s that. Some of my gay peers are quite effeminate, and some are not. There are other gay men where I work, and nobody treats us differently. That’s all behind me with maturity and a change of jobs where being gay is no big deal. I had been in the closet for a number of years, primarily for fear of reprisal where I once worked. I both agree and disagree with this assertion. Suddenly, once ‘out,’ they are no longer a man.“ The blog contends: “ The reason that homosexual men who don’t fall into the common “girly-man” stereotype do not come out is because of an intense fear of being excommunicated from their social group. I contend that there are a number of us guys who are not so obvious in our mannerisms and behavior to be labeled immediately by straight people as being gay. There are other gay men who behave more effeminately, who dress more fashionably, who speak with a distinctive voice or sound, and whose behavior is more or less obviously “gay” and therefore, is more likely to be out of the closet. I believe that it is possible to be gay and to behave in a typical male, masculine manner. I found the post interesting and consistent with some things that I have said. In that post, the author describes some generalities and stereotypes attributed to gay men, and takes some criticism for what he said, as well.
I read a blog post dated November 6, 2009, titled The Myth of the Masculine Gay Man. They are found when people use a search engine and look up “masculine gay men” or “how to find a masculine gay guy” or “can a guy be gay and masculine.” Some of my past blog posts about gay men and masculinity, or masculine gay men, or even “if” gay men can look and behave in a masculine manner, continue to be among the most viewed on this blog.